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LoveWrecked
Anmeldungsdatum: 07.05.2011 Beiträge: 1
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Verfasst am: 07. Mai 2011 19:39 Titel: Letter of Motivation für Uni, Help plz ;) |
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Hi @ all,
ich bin heute zufällig auf der Suche nach Hilfe auf dieses wunderbare Forum gestoßen.
Ich hoffe ihr könnt mir genauso gut helfen
Im Folgenden hab ich meinen Letter of Motivation für die ESB Business School Reutlingen für den Studiengang International Business.
Da es mein erster Esaay ist, wäre es toll wenn ich sowohl was zum Inhalt als auch zur Grammatik sagt.
Danke schon mal im voraus
Hier der Essay:
Dear Sir or Madam:
I hereby wish to express my interest for a place in the Bachelor of Science program in International Business.
Born and raised in Beijing, China, I was already fascinated by the rapidly growing skyscrapers at that time. When we then moved to an industrial nation like Germany, I lost my last doubts about the power of economy. It quickly became clear that I also want to work in this area one day.
My second large interests are languages, meeting new people and visiting different places around the world.
As I discovered a flyer of International Business at that time, a major which unites both of my preferences, I was absolutely sure about my future plans.
For that purpose, I decided to choose English and economy as my advanced courses and could already acquire the basics of Finance, Investment and Consulting.
In addition to my fluent English, I of course master German and Chinese as mother tongue perfectly and have good skills in French.
Currently I am living in ****, Germany, where I just finished my A-level at Gymnasium ****, which is a high school with high reputation.
In consideration of my future career I intend to achieve the Bachelor of Science, followed by the Master of Science in International Business. It is my aim to work in an international company and to improve the collaboration of important industrial nations.
There are two specific reasons why I prefer Reutlingen University in comparison to others. First, I want to receive a high-quality degree at one of the leading German Universities within the scope of International Business. Second, the Internationality of your program really appeals to me. I’m excited about the multinational students and looking forward to the international semester at one of your many partner universities.
Grown up in two different countries teaches me the best of both worlds.
With the Chinese diligence and ambition and the German accuracy I’m very confident to master this study.
Thank you for considering my application.
Sincerely, |
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MI Administrator
Anmeldungsdatum: 22.01.2005 Beiträge: 1140 Wohnort: München
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Verfasst am: 08. Mai 2011 17:56 Titel: Re: Letter of Motivation für Uni, Help plz ;) |
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Insgesamt sehr flüssig zu lesen. Nur ein paar Kleinigkeiten sind mir aufgefallen, ich hoffe aber, nichts Wesentliches übersehen zu haben.
Gruß
MI
LoveWrecked hat Folgendes geschrieben: |
Dear Sir or Madam:
I hereby wish to express my interest for a place in the Bachelor of Science program in International Business.
Born and raised in Beijing, China, I was already fascinated by the rapidly growing skyscrapers at that time. When we then moved to an industrial nation like Germany, I lost my last doubts about the power of economy. It quickly became clear that I also want to work in this area one day.
My second largest interests are languages, meeting new people and visiting different places around the world. Oder anders: Other large interests include. Aber für die Rangfolge müsste eigentlich "largest" folgen.
As I discovered a flyer of International Business at that time, a major which unites both of my preferences, I was absolutely sure about my future plans. "that time" sollte vielleicht spezifiziert werden. Das klingt so ein bisschen "at random". Vllt. einfach nur "When I disc...."?
For that purpose, I decided to choose English and economy as my advanced courses and could already acquire the basics of Finance, Investment and Consulting.
In addition to my fluent English, I of course master German and Chinese as mother tongue perfectly and have good skills in French.
Currently I am living in ****, Germany, where I just finished my A-level at Gymnasium ****, which is a high school with high reputation.
In consideration of my future career I intend to achieve the Bachelor of Science, followed by the Master of Science in International Business. It is my aim to work in an international company and to improve the collaboration of important industrial nations.
There are two specific reasons why I prefer Reutlingen University in comparison to others. First, I want to receive a high-quality degree at one of the leading German Universities within the scope of International Business. Second, the internationality of your program really appeals to me. I am excited about the multinational students and looking forward to the international semester at one of your many partner universities. Keine Kurzformen in rein formalen Schreiben.
Grown up in two different countries teaches me the best of both worlds.
With the Chinese diligence and ambition and the German accuracy I am very confident to master these studies. Meiner Meinung nach sind Studien im Englischen immer Plural.
Thank you for considering my application.
Yours faithfully, siehe "valediction" in der englischen WP |
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