Altinpay
Anmeldungsdatum: 24.01.2010
Beiträge: 1
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 Verfasst am: 24. Jan 2010 18:07 Titel: Correction |
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Ich muss meine Englisch Arbeit verbessern aber komm leider nicht weiter. hab auch leider keinen in der Familie der mir helfen kann. Hoffe einer hat Verständnis und kann mir bei der Verbesserung helfen.
1. In the text (magazine article) from the magazine Seventeen on January 1994, (p.88 ) writing by Cathie Hanauer is an introduction to separated success stories about young people.
The article describes what success means a how you can get it. Many stars got fail-faire before they were success. The most important things about succeeding are you must work hard and long and find something that challenges you. The way is long and hard, but that’s right and so you evolution and you grow up. You must do what you want in your Life and give the best in it. But you don’t go crazy when you have failure. Every failure makes you stronger. You must focused your job and do it on your way of style. Keep the fail back.
2. You must keep all the bad things that you hold on and reasons for fail and strike out and challenge your life style.
Comment
I.
you can achieve success when you work hard and long and find something that challenges you. That means not working a month or even a year, or has a big car and bodyguards.
You get success when you do what you want and where your talents are and then try for the best.
II.
I agree because before you get the success you work hard and strong and have the thrill. That means you must be hungry of getting success. When you are successful there was not the thrill because you have what you want and be sick of it. You lose to climbed up to where success. You fell pressure. You were on the top of the mountain...
Auf style und language habe ich 0P. Dazu muss ich auch sagen ich hab erst 3 Jahre englisch gehabt in der Schule .... |
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MI
Administrator
Anmeldungsdatum: 22.01.2005
Beiträge: 1140
Wohnort: München
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| Verfasst am: 25. Jan 2010 21:21 Titel: Re: Correction |
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Ich fange mal an:
| Altinpay hat Folgendes geschrieben: |
1. In the text (magazine article) from the magazine Seventeen on January 1994, (p.88 ) writing by Cathie Hanauer is an introduction to separated success stories about young people.
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Neuformulieren ist einfacher, da sind einige Brocken drin. Hier ein Versuch, (ich mag leider selbst keine Einleitungssätze):
The text, a magazine article written by Cathi Hanauer and published in "Seventeen" in January 1994, is an introduction to success stories about young people.
Was du mit "separated" meinst, ist mir leider nicht ganz so klar.
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The article describes what success means and how you can get it. Many stars got fail-faire before they became successful. Was heißt "fail-faire"? Ich habe das Wort noch nie in meinem Leben gehört - Google und Oxford-Dictionairy konnten mir auch nicht helfen. The most important thing in order to succeed is that you must work hard and long and find something that challenges you. The way is long and hard, but that’s right and so you evolve and you grow up. "evolution" ist ein Substantive. Allerdings gefällt mir "evolve" hier nicht wirklich. Vllt. reicht "grow up"? You must do what you want in your Life and give your best in it. But don’t turn crazy when you fail So ist das eine Aufforderung, zudem ist "have failure" nicht gut. Every failure makes you stronger. You must focus on your job and do it in your way "must" benötigt den Infinitv. Ferner ist "in your way of style" doppelt. Keep the fail back. Was genau möchtest du damit ausdrücken?
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