Bitte um Korrektur. Short Essay

neoprend · Gast

Hallo zusammen,

ich bin neu hier und habe gerade mal im Board so einige Beiträge gelesen.

Vielleicht könntet Ihr mein Text, den ich abgeben muss, einmal kurz rüber schauen, ob große Schnitzer drin sind. Wäre total nett.
Gruß

In 1999, the ministers of Education from 29 European countries met eachother in Bologna because they wanted create a major reform in the higher education system. The higher education should equal organized in all 29 European countries. The education should organize in similar way to the U.S. Bachelor and Master system.
There are three main facts for the convergence between the U.S. and European higher education and the ministers would create new system in such way that it is easy to move from one country to the other within the European Higher Education Area therefore for the purpose of further study or employment. Second, the attractiveness of European higher education is increased so many people from non-European countries also come to study and/or work in Europe. Finally, the European Higher Education Area provides Europe with a broad, high quality and advanced knowledge base, and therefore it is import to hold the high potential students in Europe and not let them leave to the U.S.
The University of Hamburg created several bachelors and Master Programm. I have joined the bachelor programm in 2006. I am a bachelor student of the first generation at the university in Hamburg. In the bachelor business programm has everybody from the first semester to the fith semester the same lecutres and the same schedule. After this time, you can choose a mayor, for instance human ressources, finance, tax or supply chain management. You study your mayor only two more semesters and the bachelor degree will passed with a bachelor thesis.
If you pass the bachelor degree, you will have the choice between “Should I study further with a master” or “should I work”. If you want to achieve a master degree, you can go to another university or stay at the university. Several of mine fellow students decide to study a master in Netherland or in the UK. Because. On the one hand, there is the quality of the Universities better than Hamburg and on the other hand the Master programs are lectured in English and you have to achieve the requirements, for instance English skills, GMAT Testscore, references and so on.
Finally, the bachelor program are very tough but a good prepration for the future, independent which way you choice – a master or a job.

Lola · Gast

Hattest du gesagt "short" Essay???
Na ja, so kurz ist es ja net oder?
Also, ich bin halb Englisch, aber erst in der 7. Klasse... kann aber mal versuchen es zu korrigieren!

Satz 1: Eachother weglassen! und ändern: because they wanted to create...
Satz 2 ganz weglassen!
Satz 3: in a similar way...

Aber ich kann jetzt net Ewigeiten hier sitzen und alles korrigieren.
Sorry, aber dieser Text ist wirkilich etwas zu lang für dieses Forum. Kennst du nicht jemanden der ihn dir korrigieren kann? Oder: Frag doch mal deinen Lehrer ob er ihn dir (vor du ihn abgeben musst) noch mal korrigieren kann, die meisten sehen das als vorbildlich und gehen dann gerne auf deine Bitte ein.

Sorry das ich dir nicht wirklich weiterhelfen konnte!
Gruß, Lola Wink