| Autor |
Nachricht |
Monalisa88
Anmeldungsdatum: 27.06.2008
Beiträge: 1
|
 Verfasst am: 27. Jun 2008 08:15 Titel: Letter of Motivation |
 |
|
Hey!
Könnt ihr mir bitte einen Gefallen tun und meinen Letter of Motivation schnell gegenlesen?
Bin für alle Tipps dankbar!! :-)
Dear Sir and Madam,
[…ich habe noch keinen zufriedenstellenden Anfang gefunden...]
Concerning my future career I intent to achieve the Bachelor of Arts, followed by the Master of Arts in International Business Administration.
This education is supposed to make me understand the complex structures of international companies, the way they work and in which markets they operate. It is to prepare me for working in the Finance, Investment, Consulting and Strategy departments of international corporations or furthermore help me set up my own business.
One of my main reasons why I want to pursue the chosen international career is my strong interest in other people and cultures. I believe that learning more about foreign people, their cultures and different mentalities is necessary to widen one’s horizon and to understand global developments.
I am a very outgoing person and I always feel quite enthusiastic about meeting foreign people and to learn more about them and their country.
From August 2007 until August 2008, I spent one year living in the United States, working as an AuPair. This exchange had a deep impact on me. It helped me to increase my English skills and also made me a lot more mature and open-minded. Living in a foreign country, speaking a foreign language and being confronted with a different culture was a great experience; I wouldn’t want to miss it in life.
Beside my international experiences, which I have been able to make throughout the last years, I have always been very interested in economics and political developments. That’s why I chose an “Administration to Business Administration” class at the college in the United States. I found it really interesting to learn how a business works, to calculate risks and especially to experience marketing strategies. These experiences gave me a deeper insight in the way global corporations are structured and the way they work. Analyzing different markets, the strengths and weaknesses of a company and deciding how it could be established in the market was definitely a fascinating. Moreover I realized even more how essential and much more effective it is working in a group compared to working on your own.
Since then I have been absolutely convinced that the International Business Administration program is the one which suits me best. I enjoy being in contact with other people with different ethnic backgrounds and to work internationally.
Besides speaking English fluently, I am native speaker of German and have intermediate knowledge of French.
Regarding the international career, I pursue, I intent to study at a highly renowned international university in a foreign country which offers a very international atmosphere, excellent career prospective and the opportunity to make new foreign friend.
Since I have been playing tennis for almost nine years, for me it is also an important aspect that the university where I want to study, offers many possibilities to do different sport activities.
After doing a lot of research, I decided to apply for the bachelor program in International Business Administration at WU Wien. From what I’ve heard, the WU Wien is exactly what I’m looking for. Furthermore I really appreciate the combination of a high standard academic studies combined with a practical and businesslike approach.
After visiting Vienna in 2006, I was fascinated by this city, I absolutely loved it! So I gathered information about the WU Wien and was enthused about their International Business Studies. I was thrilled about the opportunity to combine excellent education with an amazing location. In my opinion Vienna gives the impression of being a very cosmopolitan city which combines the traditional Austrian way of life with a very international atmosphere.
To sum up, getting the opportunity to study International Business Administration at WU Wien and to proof that I am willing to put all effort in these studies would mean a lot to me.
For further information, please feel free to contact me at anytime. I greatly appreciate your interest and am looking forward to hearing from you soon.
Yours Sincerely,
... |
|
 |
MI
Administrator
Anmeldungsdatum: 22.01.2005
Beiträge: 1140
Wohnort: München
|
| Verfasst am: 29. Jun 2008 18:18 Titel: Re: Letter of Motivation |
|
|
Vorab: In ein formelles schreiben gehören niemals Kurzformen wie "wouldn't".
Ansonsten habe ich nicht auf den Stil geachtet, dazu fehlte mir heute leider die Zeit  .
Gruß
MI
| Monalisa88 hat Folgendes geschrieben: | Hey!
Dear Sir and Madam,
[…ich habe noch keinen zufriedenstellenden Anfang gefunden...]
Concerning my future career I intent to achieve the Bachelor of Arts, followed by the Master of Arts in International Business Administration.
This education is supposed to make me understand the complex structures of international companies, the way they work and in which markets they operate. (vielleicht einfach: "where they operate"? - Stimmen sollte es aber dennoch) It is (meant) to prepare me for working in the Finance, Investment, Consulting and Strategy departments of international corporations or furthermore help me set up my own business. Mir fehlt dort eine Passivkonstruktion (über meant, ...) oder ein Adjektiv (helpful, etc. - evtl. Präposition anpassen). Des Weiteren könnte ich mir vorstellen, statt "furthermore" eher "even" oder "else" zu verwenden.
One of my main reasons why I want to pursue the chosen international career is my strong interest in other people and cultures. I believe that learning more about foreign people, their cultures and different mentalities is necessary to widen one’s horizon and to understand global developments.
I am a very outgoing person and I always feel quite enthusiastic about meeting foreign people and to learn more about them and their country.
From August 2007 until August 2008, I spent one year living in the United States, working as an AuPair. This exchange had a deep impact on me. It helped me to increase my English skills and also made me a lot more mature and open-minded. Living in a foreign country, speaking a foreign language and being confronted with a different culture was a great experience; I would not want to miss it in life.
Beside my international experiences, which I have been able to make throughout the last years, I have always been very interested in economics and political developments. That is why I chose an “Administration to Business Administration” class at the college in the United States sicher "Administration", und nicht eher "introduction"?. I found it really interesting to learn how a business works, to calculate risks and especially to experience marketing strategies. These experiences gave me a deeper insight in the way global corporations are structured and the way they work. Analyzing different markets, the strengths and weaknesses of a company and deciding how it could be established in the market was definitely fascinating. Moreover I realized even more how essential and much more effective it is to work in a group compared to working on your own.
Since then I have been absolutely convinced that the International Business Administration program is the one which suits me best. I enjoy being in contact with other people with different ethnic backgrounds and to work internationally.
Besides speaking English fluently, I am native speaker of German and have intermediate knowledge of French.
Regarding the international career, I pursue, I intent to study at a highly renowned international university in a foreign country which offers a very international atmosphere, excellent career prospectives and the opportunity to make new foreign friends.
Since I have been playing tennis for almost nine years, it is also an important aspect for me that the university where I want to study, offers many possibilities to do different sportive activities. So weit ich weiß, kann man entweder "sports" sagen, oder eben "sportive activities"="sportliche Aktivitäten". Andernfalls hättest du zwei Substantive, das dürfte nicht funktionieren.
After doing a lot of research, I decided to apply for the bachelor program in International Business Administration at WU Wien. From what I have heard, the WU Wien is exactly what I am looking for. Furthermore, I really appreciate the combination of high standard academic studies combined with a practical and businesslike approach.
After visiting Vienna in 2006, I was fascinated by this city, I absolutely loved it! Ich weiß nicht, ob so ein emotionaler Ausbruch wirklich das richtige ist... Thus I gathered information about the WU Wien and was enthused about their International Business Studies. I was thrilled about the opportunity to combine excellent education with an amazing location. In my opinion Vienna gives the impression of being a very cosmopolitan city, which combines the traditional Austrian way of life with a very international atmosphere.
To sum up, getting the opportunity to study International Business Administration at the WU Wien and to proof that I am willing to put all effort in these studies would mean a lot to me. Ich würde mich entscheiden: Entweder ohne oder mit Artikel (ich tendiere auch zu "mit" 
For further information, please feel free to contact me at anytime. I greatly appreciate your interest and I am looking forward to hearing from you soon.
Yours faithfully, (du kennst den Adressaten nicht)
... |
|
|
|
|
|
Registrieren
Login
FAQ
Suchen
