brauche bitte Textkorrektur "ADVERTISING"

Natalia111 · Anmeldungsdatum: 17.05.2007 Beiträge: 5

ich übe für die Klausur. Ich habe alles was wir gemacht haben in einem Text zusammengefasst zum Thema "Advertising". wäre nett, wenn jemand den text korrigieren könnte, so kann ich meine fehler sehen und gezielt auf diese eingehen.

Danke im Voraus.

Wherever you see is advertising, for example on TV, in magazines, on advertising columns in the streets or during your car journey you are listening commercials in the radio too. There are various sorts of advertising. But not always the adverts are hart-hitting, sweetly or funny, often these are erotic and shocking for example when woman or man are posing nude or other one when on TV are shown adverts with drugs or alcohol. These are especially inappropriate for children. The problem is, that the adult can not control at what the children take a look, because such commercials are shown during the day. One other disadvantage is, that meanwhile is it disaggregated with commercials on TV, because every 30 minutes there are shown commercials for ca. 7 minutes and this is too long and bothering. But when someone is looking TV during doing the homework is the commercial time an advantage. Further I don’t like when I buy a magazine there are too much ads, so that meanwhile I don’t buy these, because the adverts don’t attract me and it is waste of money. But I ought to add, that without the advertising that the newspapers and magazines would be much more expensive without the advertising. In addition still one disadvantage of advertising but not concerning of all that in advertising there are often beauty girls who are idols for the young girls, who then want to be also so thin. Often is it a reason for illness like bulimia.

Furthermore it is to mention how and who the advertising is doing. Let us suppose there is developed and produced a new product. To inform the customers about the new product the producer assign an advertising agency which should design the campaign. Firstly the account manager, who is a bridge between the client and who is doing work for them, meets the client to find out what he wants and to give him the general advice. Then the account manager writes a report for the whole team, especially for the campaign designers who are developing the ideas, image and words. Then the media planners decide what media to use when and how much. The media planners are responsible for booking the actual TV time and magazine space too. So far to the advertisers.

For the advertising which only promote the products with brand awareness, image and wealth is used a special formula and this is the AIDA-formula. The letters stand for:

A-attract attention (e.g. you see the bright colours which attract your attention immediately)
I-arouse interest (we start to read the ad in detail or we listen to)
D-create desire (we really want to have/to own this product)
A-action (we go and buy this product or elect a party)

There are still other sorts of advertising, which warn you for something for example for smoking or drug-taking. Often the politicians use the advertising to promote their party especially before the election. But not all adverts are truthful; these are indeed nice designed, but no cattle. For example we all know the TV commercial about the “Fruchtzwerge” it is very nice and funny, and I admit I have these buy for my daughter, because I was certain to buy a good and healthy product. I was shocked when a read a magazine “Ökö-Test” last week. There the “Fruchtzwerge” get the test mark only sufficient.
It is to note, that product in advertising are mostly have a brand name, these product are 3 % more expensive the products which are not in advertising.

And finally is to mention, that in former times advertising was not so spread as now. Nowadays adverts are in bright colours really to attract to look at and earlier the ads were very simple.

vielleicht hat jemand eine idee, was man noch in den text reinbringen könnte

Natalia111 · Anmeldungsdatum: 17.05.2007 Beiträge: 5

ist der Text zu lang, oder woran liegt es, dass keiner den Text lesen will?
traurig

Ulli · Ehrenmoderator Anmeldungsdatum: 03.07.2004 Beiträge: 1389

Goldenhind · Ehrenmoderator Anmeldungsdatum: 17.08.2006 Beiträge: 399

Ich fange einfach mal mit dem ersten Absatz an:

Natalia111 · Anmeldungsdatum: 17.05.2007 Beiträge: 5

vielen Dank für die Korrektur

es ist nur eine Zusammenfassung des Themas für mich, um schreiben zu üben und meine Fehler zu sehen.

In der Klausur muss man zu verschiedenen Themen so ca. 100 Wörter schreiben. Unwichtig was, hauptsache es passt zu dem Thema.

So wenn ich es schreibe kann ich besser die Vokabeln lernen.

Natalia111 · Anmeldungsdatum: 17.05.2007 Beiträge: 5

hart-hitting=zur Sache gehend lt. unserem Schulbuch

Goldenhind · Ehrenmoderator Anmeldungsdatum: 17.08.2006 Beiträge: 399

Dann aber hard-hitting, oder?
Und ich kann mir beim besten Willen nicht vorstellen, dass es bei euren Klausuren darum geht "100 Wörter über egal was, Hauptsache es passt zum Thema" zu schreiben. Du kannst ziemlich fest davon ausgehen, dass ihr sehr konkrete Aufgabenstellungen bekommen werdet, zu denen ihr dann treffende, gut begründete und gut strukturierte Antworten verfassen müsst und kein hohles Geschwafel.

Natalia111 · Anmeldungsdatum: 17.05.2007 Beiträge: 5

hard-hitting (hatte schreibfehler)

bei uns ist es nicht ganz so streng, da wir nur Abendschule machen.

der 1 Teil wird ein Text auf Englisch sein, den wir auf Deutsch zusammenfassen werden müssen.

der 2 Teil wird aus Fragen zu 5 Themen bestehen, die wir durchgenommen haben.

sage ich doch es muss nur zu dem Thema bzw. zu der gestellten Frage passen und so wenig wie möglich Schreibfehler sollen es sein.

Es wird von uns nicht so viel verlangt, da wir ja nur 2 Unterrichtsstunden in der Woche Englisch haben.