Hilfe bei Klausurvorbereitung gesucht

marcusf · Gast

Hi ich schreibe am Montag eine Klausur in Englisch (12.klasse). Dazu habe ich mal zur übung einen text geschrieben. wäre nett wenn sich den mal jemand durchlesen würde und mir grammatik/wortfehler sagen könnte. damit ich aus den fehlern lerne.
danke
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At the End of the book the pace of the narrative quickens and many events happen in a short time. This makes the story more exciting. One element which creates suspense is the conversation between Benjamin and Mr. Robinson at the end of the scene seven. Mr. Robinson threats Benjamin and says that he can get him behind bars if Benjamin sees Elaine again. Nevertheless he breaks into the house of the Robinsons to find out where Elaine is. So Benjamin gets criminal. The suspension increases when Mrs. Robinson calls the police and Benjamin runs away from the police. Now the situation for Ben gets more and more dangerous and risky. The reader knows this and wants to know if Ben reaches his aim to find Elaine or if the police will catch him. When he is driving up to Santa-Barbara where the marriage is Ben has a breakdown. The breakdown is now an obstacle to get to the marriage and to prevent it. The reader gets more tensed, because he has many questions but no answers. He wants to know if Ben comes too late to the marriage, how Elaine will react when she sees him and what will happen at the end of the story. The reader gets the impression that the time is pressing.
Then there is a high point of suspense at the church. The doors are locked so Benjamin can’t get in at first. Later there’s also a fight between Benjamin and Mr. Braddock who wants to prevent that Ben gets to Elaine. The reader is now very excited because he knows that Ben nearly has reached his aim to find Elaine but maybe it is too late and Elaine got married. The suspense reduces when Elaine remarks Ben and both escape from the church. Now the reader knows that Elaine hasn’t got married and that she has decided for him.
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marcus

MacHarms · Anmeldungsdatum: 01.11.2004 Beiträge: 295 Wohnort: Hamburg

*already[quote="marcusf"]Hi ich schreibe am Montag eine Klausur in Englisch (12.klasse). Dazu habe ich mal zur übung einen text geschrieben. wäre nett wenn sich den mal jemand durchlesen würde und mir grammatik/wortfehler sagen könnte. damit ich aus den fehlern lerne.
danke
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At the *end of the book the pace of the narrative quickens and many events happen in a short time. This makes the story more exciting. One element which creates suspense is the conversation between Benjamin and Mr. Robinson at the end of *scene seven. Mr. Robinson threats Benjamin and says that he can get him behind bars if Benjamin sees Elaine again. Nevertheless he breaks into the house of the Robinsons to find out where Elaine is. So Benjamin gets criminal. The suspension increases when Mrs. Robinson calls the police and Benjamin runs away from the police. Now the situation for Ben gets more and more dangerous and risky. The reader knows this and wants to know if Ben reaches his aim to find Elaine or if the police will catch him *first. When he is driving up to *Santa Barbara where the marriage is *to take place Ben has a breakdown. The breakdown is now an obstacle to get to the marriage and to prevent it. The reader gets more tensed, because he has many questions but no answers. He wants to know if Ben comes too late to the marriage, how Elaine will react when she sees him and what will happen at the end of the story. The reader gets the impression that *time is pressing.
Then there is a high point of suspense at the church. The doors are locked so Benjamin can’t get in at first. Later there’s also a fight between Benjamin and Mr. Braddock who wants to prevent that Ben gets to Elaine. The reader is now very excited because he knows that Ben nearly has reached his aim to find Elaine but maybe it is too late and Elaine *already got married. The suspense reduces when Elaine *spots Ben and both escape from the church. Now the reader knows that Elaine hasn’t got married and that she has decided for him.
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Ich hab´ mal das geändert (davor steht ein*), was ich "prima vista" anders schreiben würde.
Peter aka MacHarms