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BeitragVerfasst am: 17. Mai 2011 21:03    Titel: Re: Und noch einer: Letter of motivation

Ein paar kleinere Anmerkungen habe ich eingefügt, aber insgesamt fand ich den Brief ebenfalls nicht schlecht. Formelles Englisch ist natürlich immer etwas hölzerner, aber eigentlich liest der Brief sich sehr flüssig.

Eule hat Folgendes geschrieben:

Dear ...

According to your advertising on naturejob.com I am writing to apply for a PhD position in project x beginning in August 2011 at the ... . After handing in my diploma thesis in February I am searching for the opportunity to focus on challenging research projects in coral reef biology. Currently I am working on additional analysis for my thesis project at the... in ... to prepare a publication.

During my studies of biology at the University of ... I sharpened my knowledge in several fields from molecular biology to ecology as well as geography. After realizing my wish to achieve a scuba diving licence, combined with a basic course in marine biology, I decided to focus on marine ecosystems. For getting a better and most of all practical insight into ongoing research topics of marine biology I organized myself internships at the ... and at the ... at ...'s researching group for .... At the University of ... I worked as a student assistant in a project about Geomicrobiology of reef organisms.

To improve my knowledge about ... and the ... I moved to ... where I developed my diploma project. In collaboration with Xy and Yx we combined molecular and ecophysiological methods in a manipulative aquarium study to investigate the effects of water current and acidification on physiology and associated microbial communities of Acropora p..The experiments were conducted in close team work with a master student from Ireland. Working independently, we managed to modify laboratory methods for bacterial diversity analyses from mucus samples and to establish a stable seawater mesocosm, which is suitable to perform manipulative experiments.

In November my supervisors gave me the opportunity to join the IWR symposium in DenHaag, where I presented my preliminary results on a poster. I enjoyed interesting presentations and discussions with professional scientists about ongoing research topics in ... biology.

Throughout several internships and student assistant jobs I could enhance my practical skills and expertise in methods "expertise in methods" finde ich irgendwie unschön. Etwas besser vielleicht "methodological knowledge", allerdings kenne ich auch keine wirkliche Übersetzung für "Methodenkompetenz". Furthermore I met with many different people from diverse cultural and scientific backgrounds and thus I could further develop my ability to integrate into teams and new environments. Kleiner Vorschlag, da für mich "improve" immer so danach anhört, dass es vorher schlecht war. Ist im Grunde egal, weil es ja jetzt eben gut sein soll, aber vielleicht klingt das positiver. Weiterhin finde ich "made good contact" wirklich extrem hölzern. Eine bessere Alternative als "met" habe ich derzeit aber auch nicht.

As it is highlighted in recent studies, ... interact with organisms out of every empire. It would be exciting to enhance our knowledge about the parasite-... interaction between ... and ...to assess the evolutionary origin of inter-specific relationships. I am confident that the combination of molecular and toxicological methods with ecological surveys will lead to a broad view on the underlaying mechanisms. The approach would provide an exciting methodical and theoretical challenge for a PhD project. The results of the project might bring us to a point from where we can develop our understanding on how ... as the keyspecies in ..., function. I believe, that only by enlarging our knowledge about the connections in ... and how they evolve it is possible to develop more specific mechanisms to protect these ecosystems. Ich gehe einmal davon aus, dass das insb. deine eigene Meinung wiederspiegelt. Vielleicht ist das eine Chance noch mal deutlich zu machen, dass du da hinterstehst? Nur ein Gedanke...

One of your students recommended the PhD programm at ... and the worldwide network of your institution certainly provides a great environment to do professional research. I would be grateful to become part of it for the upcoming years. I am sure, that my engagement and enthusiasm, my practical experience and team work abilities can contribute to the success of the project.

Please feel free to contact me regarding any questions or concerns you might have. Thank you for reviewing my application,and I look forward to your acceptance.
Eule
BeitragVerfasst am: 15. Mai 2011 16:50    Titel: Und noch einer: Letter of motivation

Hallo zusammen! Ich bereite gerade Bewerbungen für PhD positions vor und es wäre mir wirklich eine riesen Hilfe, wenn ihr euch meinen Entwurf mal ansehen und kommentieren würdet! Leider ist zur Zeit niemand in meiner Nähe, der sehr gute Englischkenntnisse hat und mir helfen könnte. Ich bin neu hier im Forum aber neugierig und freue mich über regen Austausch!
Im Grunde find ich den Entwurf schon ganz ok, aber irgednwie klingt es auch ziemlich hölzern. Würde mich über die ein oder andere Hilfe sehr freuen! Also, los gehts:

Dear ...

According to your advertising on naturejob.com I am writing to apply for a PhD position in project x beginning in August 2011 at the ... . After handing in my diploma thesis in February I am searching for the opportunity to focus on challenging research projects in coral reef biology. Currently I am working on additional analysis for my thesis project at the... in ... to preare a publication.

During my studies of biology at the University of ... I sharpened my knowledge in several fields from molecular biology to ecology as well as geography. After realizing my wish to achieve a scuba diving licence, combined with a basic course in marine biology, I decided to focus on marine ecosystems. For getting a better and most of all practical insight into ongoing research topics of marine biology I organized myself internships at the ... and at the ... at ...'s researching group for .... At the University of ... I worked as a student assistant in a project about Geomicrobiology of reef organsims.

To improve my knowledge about ... and the ... I moved to ... where I developed my diploma project. In collaboration between Xy and Yx we combined molecular and ecophysiological methods in a manipulative aquarium study to investigate the effects of water current and acidification on physiology and associated microbial communities of Acropora p..The experiments were conducted in close team work with a master student from Ireland. Working independently, we managed to modify laboratory methods for bacterial diversity analyses from mucus samples and to establish a stable seawater mesocosm, which is suitable to perform manipulative experiments.

In November my supervisors gave me the opportunity to join the IWR symposium in DenHaag, where I presented my preliminary results on a poster. I enjoyed interesting presentations and discussions with professional scientists about ongoing research topics in ... biology.

Throughout several internships and student assistant jobs I could enhance my practical skills and expertise in methods. Furthermore I made good contact with many different people from diverse cultural and scientific backgrounds and thus I could improve the ability to integrate into teams and new environments quite successfully.

As it is highlighted in recent studies, ... interact with organisms out of every empire. It would be exciting to enhance our knowledge about the parasite-... interaction between ... and ...to assess the evolutionary origin of inter-specific relationships. I am confident that the combination of molecular and toxicological methods with ecological surveys will lead to a broad view on the underlaying mechanisms. The approach would provide an exciting methodical and theoretical challenge for a PhD project. The results of the project might bring us to a point from where we can develop our understanding on how ... as the keyspecies in ..., function. Only by enlarging our knowledge about the connections in ... and how they evolve it is possible to develop more specific mechanisms to protect these ecosystems.

One of your students recommended the PhD programm at ... and the worldwide network of your institution to provide a great environment to do professional research. I would be grateful to become part of it for the upcoming years. I am sure, that my engagement and enthusiasm, my practical experience and team work abilities can contribute to the success of the project.

Please feel free to contact me regarding any questions or concerns you might have. Thank you for reviewing my application,and I look forward to your acceptance.

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