| MI |
 Verfasst am: 05. Jul 2010 23:59 Titel: Re: Bitte um Ihre Korrektur. |
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Hier ein Verbesserungsversuch. Hoffentlich habe ich damit die gröbsten Dinge beseitigt und nichts verschlimmbessert. Einige Änderungen habe ich mit Kommentaren versehen, aber natürlich kann zusätzlich nachgefragt werden, warum ich eine bestimmte Änderung für nötig (rot) oder zumindest für besser (grün) halte.
Gruß
MI
| zhanna hat Folgendes geschrieben: |
1. A personal advice
Dear George, I read your letter where you describe your current situation and ask for advice advice im Allgemeinen ohne Artikel. On the one hand, you have got a chance to make a five-year voyage around the world in a sailing boat together with your friends – something you have always dreamt about. On the other hand you have a 76 years old father who needs you, his only child more than ever and doesn´t want to let you go.
If I were you, I would think very carefully about what is more important to me. First of all I would try to clarify for myself what I really want to be or, in other words where I would ideally see myself in a long term future – in private as well as professional life Mein Vorschlag, zumindest das "to" am Satzende ist falsch gewesen. The understanding what is my personal vision and what steps should be done to reach it could be helpful for you by making decision. Der Satz ist leider vom Satzbau mit einigen Fehlern behaftet. Daher ein (sicherlich nicht perfekter) Vorschlag meinerseits: Clarifying your personal vision in addition to finding out the necessary steps towards fulfillment of this vision may help you in your decision finding process Of course, a five-year tour around the world sounds very exciting and fascinating especially if you have always dreamt about it. It is a really good chance to see many wonderful and exotic places, experience other cultures and have an adventure. But would you really enjoy the time knowing that you left your father “alone”?
I would also make two lists with pros and cons. The first one should contain all advantages and disadvantages you could have by starting the journey around the world. And the second one - all pros and cons by staying with your father at home. The comparison of both lists will give you more clarity and can also help to make the right decision.
And last but not least, whatever you decide please keep in mind that there are always more alternative decisions that could be suitable for you as I have pointed out above (da habe ich leider die Satzaussage des letzten Teilsatzes nicht ganz verstanden).
With kind regards.
2. List of the things I would be glad to leave behind in Germany and the things I would most miss.
Today I live and work in Germany. If I imagine emigrating to another country to start a new life there are some things I would be glad to leave behind and also some I would really miss. In the following I would like to outline some of them.
The biggest thing I would really miss, especially at the first time when I leave Germany is my circle of friends, because we couldn´t meet each other quite often anymore. The second one is a good social support system. For example everybody who lives in Germany can get a good health care independent from their social or financial status. Another example of this is nearly free education up to university level. And finally it is a low level of crime rate and corruption in comparison to other countries.
The only thing I wouldn´t miss if I would emigrate to another country is the weather, because most of the time it is cold and the summer is really short. |
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