henry |
Verfasst am: 02. März 2005 21:55 Titel: |
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Howdy Pat, Mass media is two words. Either say "mass media" OR say "radio, TV, newspapers," but don't use both. Don't bother to say "and so on." Everyone knows what the term "mass media" means, so it is just extra verbiage to repeat yourself. There is no word "thoroughfully." I think you mean "thoughtfully." Again, if you say "after careful consideration" there is no need to repeat yourself by saying "after weighing thoughtfully the above arguments." Choose one or the other. ...................................................................................................... Here is an example of how I think your essay could work. I've just made up a topic. Obviously, you should use your own topic. Recently people have been discussing the rights of children in the mass media; some say that children should have the same rights as adults, and others argue that is ridiculous, and children have no rights until they are adults at twenty-one. There have been strong different opinions on that topic. After taking the above arguments carefully into consideration I firmly believe that children have basic rights from birth: parents cannot physically beat or harm or imprison their children. However, children are too immature to own property or to make major decisions. The sentences underlined are of my made up topic. However, you can use the intro sentences. I hope it helps. All the best, Henry |
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