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Nachricht |
| Zombye |
 Verfasst am: 07. Feb 2008 22:11 Titel: Re: Letter of motivation - bitte gegenlesen |
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There were some suggestions here and there, so I just modified it to my liking:
| Mrs Darcy hat Folgendes geschrieben: |
Dear Sir or Madam,
My name is *Mrs Darcy*. I am currently studying Multilingual Communication at the Cologne Universtiy of Applied Sciences and I am graduating this summer.
I would like very much to pursue my studies at the Heriot-Watt University of Edinburgh in order to become a translator.
I have chosen the Multilingual Communication studies, because I always loved working with languages. During my studies in Cologne I became very interested in translation, from both theoretical and practical point of view. I also put a special emphasis on working with translation tools as I consider them to be the basis for efficient translation.
For me translating is a service to facilitate communication and it is a challenge to make this service as good as possible. Many bad translations, which I’ve read or heard, persuaded me to do it better. Knowing, that not always an easy solution exists, appears especially appealing to me.
My decision to become a translator became final, when I proofread a work by my friend, who was a freelance translator. For the first time I met translator’s real working conditions and I liked the pressure of becoming acquainted with a new field of knowledge, working in timely fashion and still producing good results. What makes this profession even more interesting to me is the possibility to work anywhere in the world either as a freelancer or with a translation bureau.
Although some people may think of translating as not exactly a fruitful profession, I decided to focus on what I like doing, because I am convinced that besides education only commitment guarantees a good quality of the product and personal success.
Since I’ve already completed an internship in Spain, I would like now to focus on the other foreign language, I will be working with as a translator.
However, for me studying abroad is more than just a perfect chance to improve my English skills. A stay at a foreign university will allow me to widen my horizon, to grow personally and to gain a high-quality Master's degree at the same time.
While I was looking for a university abroad to complete my translation studies, Heriot-Watt University soon became my first choice.
My interest was first sparked, when I learned from fellow students about the Master's program at Heriot-Watt.
On the internet I discovered that – in contrast to many other universities in the UK – Heriot-Watt University offers exactly what I am looking for: the opportunity to focus on translation tools and to continue working with both English and Spanish.
Another positive point was a very well structured homepage, which allowed me to find instantly all the information I needed and generally gave me the impression that foreign students are very welcome to Edinburgh.
Furthermore, the English language has always been my favorite, not only to work with, but also to read books and to watch movies. Therefore I’m perfectly sure that I will fit in and soon feel at home. After having lived and worked in South England for half a year and having traveled to London several times, I am now very excited to discover another part of the UK.
As an ambitious and hard-working person I am determined to make the most of my stay in Edinburgh. I am looking forward to gain profound knowledge in the field of translation, to prepare well for my working life and to contribute to the multicultural and professional atmosphere of your university.
I would very much appreciate the chance to achieve my goal of becoming a high-quality translator by being accepted to Heriot-Watt University.
Thank you very much for considering my application.
I am hoping to hear from you soon.
Kindest regards,
*Mrs Darcy* |
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| MI |
| Verfasst am: 03. Feb 2008 03:16 Titel: |
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| Jack hat Folgendes geschrieben: | | Ich hatte beim Satz mit "for me" das gleiche Problem wie MI, meiner Meinung nach wäre da mit einem Komma nach dem "for me" schon viel geholfen. |
Ja, daran habe ich auch gedacht. Also würde ich es auch so machen - denn es kommt ja bei einem Text vor allen Dingen darauf an, dass man ihn flüssig lesen kann.
Den zweiten Fehler habe ich übrigens aus versehen weggemacht (hab das Zitat am Ende noch gekürzt...).
Hier ist er:
| Zitat: | My decision to become a translator became final when I proof read the work of a friend who is as a freelance translator. For the first time I came into contact with a translator’s real working conditions and liked the pressure to become acquainted with a new field of knowledge, to work fast and still produce good results
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Da sollte wohl ein "s" für den Plural stehen, oder ein "a" vor dem good. So jedenfalls ist das in meinen Augen falsch.
Außerdem noch eine Frage:
"For the first time I ... and liked the pressure...". Sicher, dass man da das "I" nach dem "and" weglassen kann? Ich hätte spontan gesagt der Satz erfordere ein Subjekt. Klar, in kurzen Sätzen kann man das "I" weglassen - aber bei so langen habe ich das bisher noch nie wahrgenommen.
Gruß
MI |
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| Mrs Darcy |
| Verfasst am: 02. Feb 2008 19:28 Titel: |
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Hi MI!
Mmmh. Sehe nur einen rot markierten Fehler. Aber vielen Dank schon mal! Auch für deine Anmerkungen. Mal sehen ob andere Korrekteure auch der Meinung sind. Ist auf jeden Fall hilfreich!
Grüße
xx |
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| Jack |
| Verfasst am: 02. Feb 2008 19:25 Titel: |
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| Ich hatte beim Satz mit "for me" das gleiche Problem wie MI, meiner Meinung nach wäre da mit einem Komma nach dem "for me" schon viel geholfen. |
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| MI |
| Verfasst am: 02. Feb 2008 18:55 Titel: Re: Letter of motivation - bitte gegenlesen |
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Hintergrund des Korrektors (damit du dir ein Bild von meinem "Können" machen kannst):
Abitur (Englisch LK; Erdkunde in englischer Sprache)
Viermonatiger Aufenthalt in England; Dreiwöchiger Aufenthalt in den USA
Das erste, was ich da sehe, sind Kurzformen. Die gehören nicht in einen formellen Text, sondern werden nur in der Umgangssprache verwendet.
Und nun der Text. Viel habe ich nicht gefunden, meist ist's eher so ein Bauchgefühl. Die beiden wirklichen Fehler habe ich rot markiert.
Gruß
MI
| Mrs Darcy hat Folgendes geschrieben: |
Dear Sir or Madam,
My name is *Mrs Darcy* and I am currently studying Multilingual Communication at the Cologne Universtiy of Applied Sciences expecting to graduate this summer.
I would very much like to pursue my studies at the Heriot Watt University of Edinburgh in order to become a translator.
I have chosen the above Bachelor studies because I’ve always loved working with languages. During my studies in Cologne I became very interested in translation, both theoretically and practically. I also put special emphasis on working with translation tools as I consider them to be the basis for efficient translations.
I think of translating as a service to facilitate communication and as a challenge to make this service as good as possible. Irgendwie sagt mir dieser Satz nicht zu... Ich weiß nicht warum. Richtig dürfte er sein. Ich wollte das nur einmal anmerken, falls noch jemand ähnlich denkt. Many bad translations I’ve read or heard gave me the incentive to try to make it better. Knowing there is not always an easy solution appears especially challenging to me.
[...]
As I’ve already completed an internship in Spain I would now like to focus on the other of the two foreign languages I will be working with as a translator.
However, for me studying abroad is more than the perfect chance to improve my English skills. Da stolpere ich immer beim Lesen, weil ich keine Pause nach "for me" mache. Falls das jemand bestätigen kann, würde ich den Satz umstellen - korrekt sollte er aber trotzdem sein, hier geht's nur ums Lesen. A stay at a foreign university will allow me to widen my horizon, grow personally and gain a high-quality Master’s degree at the same time.
[...]
I would very much appreciate the chance to achieve my goal of becoming a high-quality translator by being accepted at Heriot-Watt University.
Thank you very much for considering my application.
I hope to hear from you soon. "I am hoping" geht wohl, aber "I hope" ist auf jeden Fall verbreiteter.
Kindest regards,
*Mrs Darcy* |
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| Mrs Darcy |
| Verfasst am: 02. Feb 2008 15:36 Titel: Letter of motivation - bitte gegenlesen |
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Hi,
es wäre toll wenn jemand unter euch mal meinen letter of motivation gegenlesen könnte! Er ist für die Uni in Edinburgh. Dort möchte ich dieses Jahr meinen Master machen.
Ich saß jetzt so lange daran dass ich gar nicht mehr weiß ob er immer besser oder schlechter wird. Der Vorteil ist hier ja auch der, dass ihr mich nicht kennt und mir dann ganz objektiv sagen könnt ob ihr mich bei euch studieren lassen würdet :o)
ok, here goes....
vielen, vielen dank schon mal!!
Dear Sir or Madam,
My name is *Mrs Darcy* and I am currently studying Multilingual Communication at the Cologne Universtiy of Applied Sciences expecting to graduate this summer.
I would very much like to pursue my studies at the Heriot Watt University of Edinburgh in order to become a translator.
I have chosen the above Bachelor studies because I’ve always loved working with languages. During my studies in Cologne I became very interested in translation, both theoretically and practically. I also put special emphasis on working with translation tools as I consider them to be the basis for efficient translations.
I think of translating as a service to facilitate communication and as a challenge to make this service as good as possible. Many bad translations I’ve read or heard gave me the incentive to try to make it better. Knowing there is not always an easy solution appears especially challenging to me.
My decision to become a translator became final when I proof read the work of a friend who is as a freelance translator. For the first time I came into contact with a translator’s real working conditions and liked the pressure to become acquainted with a new field of knowledge, to work fast and still produce good result.
What makes this profession even more appealing to me is the possibility to work anywhere in the world either as a freelancer or with a translation bureau.
Although some people may think of translating as a not exactly fruitful profession, I decided to focus on what I like doing as I am convinced that besides education only commitment guarantees the good quality of a product and personal success.
As I’ve already completed an internship in Spain I would now like to focus on the other of the two foreign languages I will be working with as a translator.
However, for me studying abroad is more than the perfect chance to improve my English skills. A stay at a foreign university will allow me to widen my horizon, grow personally and gain a high-quality Master’s degree at the same time.
Searching for a university abroad to complete my translation studies, Heriot-Watt University soon became my first choice.
Having heard fellow students talk about the Master program of Heriot-Watt first sparked my interest.
On the internet I discovered that – in contrast to many other universities in the UK – Heriot Watt University offers exactly what I am looking for: the opportunity to focus on translation tools and to continue working with both English and Spanish.
Another positive although not decisive point was the very well structured homepage, which allowed me to instantly find all the information needed and generally gave me the impression that foreign students are very welcome in Edinburgh.
Furthermore, the English language has always been my favourite not only to work with, but also concerning literature and movies. Therefore I’m perfectly sure that I will fit in and soon feel at home.
After having lived and worked in South England for half a year and having travelled to London several times I am now very excited to discover another part of the UK.
As an ambitious and hard-working person I am determined to make the most of a stay in Edinburgh. I am looking forward to gain profound knowledge in the field of translation, to prepare well for my working life and to contribute to the multicultural and professional atmosphere of your university.
I would very much appreciate the chance to achieve my goal of becoming a high-quality translator by being accepted at Heriot-Watt University.
Thank you very much for considering my application.
I am hoping to here from you soon.
Kindest regards,
*Mrs Darcy* |
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