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[quote="Goldenhind"][quote="cara"]The text " Why Are Our Kids Overweight" from WebMD University is about reasons why so many children are overweight today. [b]Ich halte es nicht für sehr glücklich einfach fast den Titel des Textes bei der Beschreibung des Inhalts zu wiederholen, versuche eigene Worte zu finden[/b] At the beginning of the text, the author says that the case of being overweight was not so important a decade ago. He [b]mentions[/b] that typicial obesity,relataed illness like diabetes or apnea were not a p[b]ro[/b]blem for [b]children[/b]. Rallie McAllister says that trends in our community lead to the [b]children's[/b] overweight. Furthermore[b],[/b] there is said that at the moment obesity is the most important medical problem that our children got. Childhood obesity is described as a nation [b]wohl eher "national" oder steht das da so wörtlich?[/b]epidemic. More than 60% of [b]A[/b]merican teenagers are overweight or even obese. Twenty years ago the [b]ratio ("number" passt nicht wirklich zu Prozentzahlen)[/b] of obese children was at 45%. This number is rising so that children follow their parents in their[b] Wenn du zweimal hintereinaner "their" benutzt, ist es höchst verwirrend, wenn sie sich beidesmal auf unterschiedliche Personen beziehen...[/b] footsteps and [b]are[/b] fastly joining the rank of ovberweight adults. At the moment approximately 30 percent of the kids in the USA got a weight problem[b]. Furthermore,[/b] nearly 11 percent of the American teenagers are obese. In the past 30 years the number of overweigth children has more than doubeld, mostly in the past 10 years, Now six million kids in the USA meet the critical status of being overweight or obese. In general to be overweight means to have more than 15 oercent above their [b]es fehlt ein Bezugswort zu "their" schreibe besser "one's"[/b] desirable weight, while obese is if you got more that 20% [b]too[/b] much weight. Many oberweight kids will rise up and will be overweight or obese as adults. Not every overweight kid is damned to a lifelong fight against weight problems the risk of getting obese rises as children get older. After [b]having[/b] finished the third year of life the probability that pbesity will persst into his [b]or her (oder bezieht sich das nur auf männliche Kinder?)[/b] adult life rises with each passing year. About 30% of obese preschoolers and 50% of obese school aged children will be obese as grown up. Teenagers have a 70-80% chance [b]ich würde eher von "risk" sprechen, chance ist zu poaitiv belegt[/b] to carry theur extra weight into adulthood. The problem of obesity in the childhood is just at the beginning to be understood. Different influences like the genetic part or the cultural and social part play an important role. Children from caucasia [b]Mit "Caucasian" sind im englischen und vor allem amerikanischen Sprachgebrauch in aller Regel keine Menschen aus dem Kaukasus gemeint, sondern allgemein "Weiße" vgl. [url]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caucasian_race[/url][/b] got less problems with obesity like African-American or [b]Hispanic[/b] ones. The kids who live in [b]the southern[/b] USA got less problems than in all other parts of the USA.[/quote] "Outline" bedeeutet, dass du nur die wichtigsten Punkte nennen sollst, du gehst m.E. viel zu sehr ins Detail und wiederholst dich inhaltlich stellenweise. Die Wörter "obese" und "overweight" kann ich nach diesem Text echt nicht mehr sehen, versuche nach Möglichkeit noch ein paar Synonyme zu finden...[/quote]
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Ulli
Verfasst am: 04. Jun 2007 12:44
Titel:
Goldenhind hat Folgendes geschrieben:
Also ich meinte "one's" anstelle von "their", da habe ich mich wohl etwas unklar ausgedrückt.
Jo, kann doch mal passieren ....
cara
Verfasst am: 03. Jun 2007 18:37
Titel:
Hallo
Erstmal vielen Dank habeversucht mich an deine Ratschläge zu halten.
Hätte jetzt abe rnochmal eine Bitte... könnte sich noch jemand mein Comment kurz auf Fehler durchlesen?
Das wäre sehr nett...
I am of the opinion that the author of this text deals with a very important topic which should not be unattended.
Our society do not care enough about this serious problem of childhood obesity. This problem is prevailed in many wealthy countries, but the numbers of obese children is rising rapid.
In general too less people do something against this problem and the society does not realise the seriousness of this issue.
In my opinion the kids can not be blamed for their heavy overweight.
In most cases the problem develops in the families. The parents got jobs so that they are not able to be at home and to care enough for their children when their kids arrive .The children come home after school and see a kitchen filled with junk food and sugarery sodas. In order to this they must care for themselves and eat many unhealty things. After their meal they entertain oneself with televions or cumputers. They fill their whole day with fast food and sedentary pursuits. These type of children eat much more calories than they can waste so that they gain fat.
Another reason for this problem is the frequent number of fast food restaurants.
Many young people like to eat in those restaurants where many unhealthy food is offered.
They spend too much money in unhealty food and drinks because they got too much freetime. Not enough possibilities for freetime activitities are offered to them and thats a reason why they spend their freetime at home.
Another probable solution can be seen in the politic.
More politicans should take measures against this problem, because they have the opportunity to speak to our society.
They should give more informations to schools and parents of obesed children so that this problem will not rise in the future.
Goldenhind
Verfasst am: 01. Jun 2007 12:54
Titel:
Also ich meinte "one's" anstelle von "their", da habe ich mich wohl etwas unklar ausgedrückt.
Ulli
Verfasst am: 01. Jun 2007 12:33
Titel: correction
Btw one's : eher
ones
.....
Goldenhind
Verfasst am: 31. Mai 2007 19:01
Titel:
cara hat Folgendes geschrieben:
The text " Why Are Our Kids Overweight" from WebMD University is about reasons why so many children are overweight today.
Ich halte es nicht für sehr glücklich einfach fast den Titel des Textes bei der Beschreibung des Inhalts zu wiederholen, versuche eigene Worte zu finden
At the beginning of the text, the author says that the case of being overweight was not so important a decade ago.
He
mentions
that typicial obesity,relataed illness like diabetes or apnea were not a p
ro
blem for
children
.
Rallie McAllister says that trends in our community lead to the
children's
overweight.
Furthermore
,
there is said that at the moment obesity is the most important medical problem that our children got.
Childhood obesity is described as a nation
wohl eher "national" oder steht das da so wörtlich?
epidemic. More than 60% of
A
merican teenagers are overweight or even obese. Twenty years ago the
ratio ("number" passt nicht wirklich zu Prozentzahlen)
of obese children was at 45%.
This number is rising so that children follow their parents in their
Wenn du zweimal hintereinaner "their" benutzt, ist es höchst verwirrend, wenn sie sich beidesmal auf unterschiedliche Personen beziehen...
footsteps and
are
fastly joining the rank of ovberweight adults.
At the moment approximately 30 percent of the kids in the USA got a weight problem
. Furthermore,
nearly 11 percent of the American teenagers are obese.
In the past 30 years the number of overweigth children has more than doubeld, mostly in the past 10 years,
Now six million kids in the USA meet the critical status of being overweight or obese.
In general to be overweight means to have more than 15 oercent above their
es fehlt ein Bezugswort zu "their" schreibe besser "one's"
desirable weight, while obese is if you got more that 20%
too
much weight.
Many oberweight kids will rise up and will be overweight or obese as adults.
Not every overweight kid is damned to a lifelong fight against weight problems the risk of getting obese rises as children get older.
After
having
finished the third year of life the probability that pbesity will persst into his
or her (oder bezieht sich das nur auf männliche Kinder?)
adult life rises with each passing year.
About 30% of obese preschoolers and 50% of obese school aged children will be obese as grown up.
Teenagers have a 70-80% chance
ich würde eher von "risk" sprechen, chance ist zu poaitiv belegt
to carry theur extra weight into adulthood.
The problem of obesity in the childhood is just at the beginning to be understood. Different influences like the genetic part or the cultural and social part play an important role.
Children from caucasia
Mit "Caucasian" sind im englischen und vor allem amerikanischen Sprachgebrauch in aller Regel keine Menschen aus dem Kaukasus gemeint, sondern allgemein "Weiße" vgl.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caucasian_race
got less problems with obesity like African-American or
Hispanic
ones. The kids who live in
the southern
USA got less problems than in all other parts of the USA.
"Outline" bedeeutet, dass du nur die wichtigsten Punkte nennen sollst, du gehst m.E. viel zu sehr ins Detail und wiederholst dich inhaltlich stellenweise.
Die Wörter "obese" und "overweight" kann ich nach diesem Text echt nicht mehr sehen, versuche nach Möglichkeit noch ein paar Synonyme zu finden...
cara
Verfasst am: 31. Mai 2007 16:04
Titel:
Dankeschön erstmal.
Hier ist mein bisher verfasster text, wäre nett wenn jemand einen Blick drüber werfen könnte und Fehler anstreichen könnte oder Verbesserungsschläge liefern würde.
The text " Why Are Our Kids Overweight" from WebMD University is about reasons why so many children are overweight today.
At the beginning of the text, the author says that the case of being overweight was not so important a decade ago.
He mentiones that typicial obesity,relataed illness like diabetes or apnea were not a porblem for childs.
Rallie McAllister says that trends in our community lead to the childrens overweight.
Furthermore there is said that at the moment obesity is the most important medical problem that our children got.
Childhood obesity is described as a nation epidemic. More than 60% of american teenagers are overweight or even obese. Twenty years ago the number of obese children was at 45%.
This number is rising so that children follow their parents in their footsteps and fastly joining the rank of ovberweight adults.
At the moment approximately 30 percent of the kids in the USA got a weight problem furthermore nearly 11 percent of the American teenagers are obese.
In the past 30 years the number of overweigth children has more than doubeld, mostly in the past 10 years,
Now six million kids in the USA meet the critical status of being overweight or obese.
In general to be overweight means to have more than 15 oercent above their desirable weight, while obese is if you got more that 20% to much weight.
Many oberweight kids will rise up and will be overweight or obese as adults.
Not every overweight kid is damned to a lifelong fight against weight problems the risk of getting obese rises as children get older.
After finished the third year of life the probability that pbesity will persst into his adult life rises with each passing year.
About 30% of obese preschoolers and 50% of obese school aged children will be obese as grown up.
Teenagers have a 70-80% chance to carry theur extra weight into adulthood.
The problem of obesity in the childhood is just at the beginning to be understood. Different influences like the genetic part or the cultural and social part play an important role.
Children from caucasia got less problems with obesity like African-American or hispanic ones. The kids who live in south USA got less problems than in all other parts of the USA.
Danke schonmal.
Goldenhind
Verfasst am: 31. Mai 2007 15:30
Titel: Re: Frage zur Aufgabenstellung + Analyse
cara hat Folgendes geschrieben:
Also ich hab den text ganz normal erstmal zusammen gefasst ..
Jetzt steht da ja "How the author deals with the topic"
Soll ich dann auch noch die Meinung des authors rausschreiben?
Also die Meinung, die der Autor äußert, sollst du wohl in sofern rausschreiben, wie er sie explizit zum Ausdruck bringt, dass ist ja in dme "what the author says" enthalten. "How the author deals with the topic" fragt aber eher nach der Herangehensweise des Autors, wie nähert er sich der Problematik?
Zitat:
Und bei "how he composes the article" ist damit gemeint, dass ich die Struktur beachten soll?
Ja.
Zitat:
Und könnte sich dann jemand mal meinen Text/Analyse durchlesen wenn er fertig ist?
Poste ihn doch einfach hier rein, dann findet sich vielleicht jemand.
MfG Goldenhind
cara
Verfasst am: 30. Mai 2007 22:20
Titel: Frage zur Aufgabenstellung + Analyse
Hey,
Also ich hab hier nen Text, und zwei Aufgaben dazu. Hab die erste Aufgabe so gut wie fertig.. um sie zu ende machen zu können hätte ich kurz zwei Fragen.
Die Aufgabenstellung lautet zur 1. Aufgabe:
1. How does the author of this text deal with the topic of obesity? Give an outline of what the author says and how she/he composes the article.
Also ich hab den text ganz normal erstmal zusammen gefasst ..
Jetzt steht da ja "How the author deals with the topic"
Soll ich dann auch noch die Meinung des authors rausschreiben?
Und bei "how he composes the article" ist damit gemeint, dass ich die Struktur beachten soll?
Meinetwegen: Problemerläuterung, Gründe, Fazit?
Und könnte sich dann jemand mal meinen Text/Analyse durchlesen wenn er fertig ist?
Tschüss
und Danke..