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[quote="Eris"][quote="Amy"] Amy Winehouse [color=brown]was born[/color] on 14th September 1983 in Southgate/London. Her father works as [color=brown]a[/color] taxi driver and her mother [color=brown]as a [/color]Pharmacist. She has only one brother. Her first solo band was sweet n´sour with 10 years and her first record label was the island record with 18 years. The first album is called Frank and was [color=brown]published[/color] 20th October 2003. The second album is called Back to Black and was [color=brown]published[/color] 30th October 2007. She [color=brown]won [/color]5 Grammys award 2008. She [color=brown]married Black Siedler[/color] 18th Mai 2007 and [color=brown]was [/color]seperate[color=brown]d the[/color] 16th [color=brown] of [/color]Jun[color=brown]e[/color] 2009. Amy was[color=brown] a[/color] drug an alcohol [color=brown]addict [/color]and has [color=brown] had [/color]depressions. Her carrer [color=brown]ended[/color] 8th Juny 2011 in Belgrad because she was on the stage drunk. She [color=brown]died the[/color] 23rd [color=brown] of [/color] Juny 2011 at home [color=brown]at [/color]27 years[/quote][/quote]
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Eris
Verfasst am: 02. Sep 2011 17:35
Titel: Re: Bitte um Verbesserung
Amy hat Folgendes geschrieben:
Amy Winehouse
was born
on 14th September 1983 in Southgate/London.
Her father works as
a
taxi driver and her mother
as a
Pharmacist. She has only one brother.
Her first solo band was sweet n´sour with 10 years and her first record label was the island record with 18 years. The first album is called Frank and was
published
20th October 2003. The second album is called Back to Black and was
published
30th October 2007. She
won
5 Grammys award 2008.
She
married Black Siedler
18th Mai 2007 and
was
seperate
d the
16th
of
Jun
e
2009.
Amy was
a
drug an alcohol
addict
and has
had
depressions.
Her carrer
ended
8th Juny 2011 in Belgrad because she was on the stage drunk.
She
died the
23rd
of
Juny 2011 at home
at
27 years
Amy
Verfasst am: 02. Sep 2011 14:48
Titel: Bitte um Verbesserung
Meine Frage:
Hallo, könntet Ihr bitte meinen Text verbessern?
Habe bestimmt sehr viele Grammatikfehler.
Dieser Text handelt über Amy Winehouse.
Danke für jeden Fehler der gefunden wird bzw. Bewertung von euch...
Meine Ideen:
Amy Winehouse i on 14th September 1983 in Southgate/London born.
Her father works as taxi driver and her mother of Pharmacist. She has only one brother.
Her first solo band was sweet n´sour with 10 years and her first record label was the island record with 18 years. The first album is called Frank and was on 20th October 2003 published. The second album is called Back to Black and was on 30th October 2007 published. She has 5 Grammys award on 2008 won.
She was on 18th Mai 2007 with Black Siedler married and have seperate on 16th Juny 2009.
Amy was drug an alcohol adicced and has depressions.
Her carrer was and on 8th Juny 2011 in Belgrad because she was on the stage drunk.
She is on 23rd Juny 2011 at her home with 27 years died.